Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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