Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize