I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
