There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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