How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
handjob tips. give me some.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
