i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
