It's Friday. Sex?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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