Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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