i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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