I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
