is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Farmville is her only friend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
