i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
