you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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