Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
