I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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