She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
