You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
