I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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