There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
