Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
