i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
