dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
