Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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