so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
