I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My dick has a subreddit
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
