I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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