you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
