dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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