im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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