So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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