so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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