Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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