how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
