I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize