I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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