just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
