a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
