we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
