We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
