I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
