I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
