I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
