How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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