I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
