Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize