I wish life had little blips of pornography
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize