So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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