youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
