pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
