I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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