Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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