12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize