it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
