To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
