I think I won the penis lottery.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize