No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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