can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
