chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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