I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Too much gin, very little bucket
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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