that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
