she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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