How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
